Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
