If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
