I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize