I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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