so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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