He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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