Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
