I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My pussy is not your playground.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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