no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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