apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
whose ass print is on the piano?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
