i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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