how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
