oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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