My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
