Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
