ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize