I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
