His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize