We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
