i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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