FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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