Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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