Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
