I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize