CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
