Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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