dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
