ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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