i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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