oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
porn star boner night. come get it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
