I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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