I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
