he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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