There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
