After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
