Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?

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(970): View more from Colorado

I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.

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(240): View more from Maryland

seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am

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(631): View more from New York

using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes

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(951): View more from California

Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.

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