You just made me feel so damn special
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
