that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
