it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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