Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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