Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
