I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
