I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize