Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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