Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
