you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
