I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize