she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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