Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
