Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize