I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
