she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
and you fell through a lawn chair
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
