New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
A+ Viking dick
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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