no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
