he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize