i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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