Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
