It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
