you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
