I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
